turning the corner

I have to say, the Friday just gone was probably one of the lowest points I’ve had for a long time. We’re talking depression and pain like a 16 year old hormonal girl who used to cut herself and write horrendous poetry (yes, that was me… 22 years ago!).

But I think a corner has been turned. I just couldn’t stand by and let my partner break down in pain and frustration and not have some of it rub off on me. And when he’s the cause of it (which he knows, and that just makes him worse), and the subject is too personal, then I have no one to turn to. No release for the pain I’m feeling because I can’t burden him with that. That would be incredibly selfish. But then hurting myself and him knowing it is also incredibly hurtful.

So, apart from a bruised knuckle, some scratches on my arm and tense shoulder stress, the worst has come and gone. We know the things we have to change. And now we know this isn’t going to be instant or easy.

Today I started the day walking the dog, and also slipped in 2 sessions of cardio boxing on the kinect before working in the arvo. I might not be able to keep up the routine everyday, but on days where I don’t work all day in an office then this is going to be my priority. Because even though my legs are shakey walking up the stairs to my office. Damn it feels good. 🙂

Life isn’t about wishing and wanting, it’s about doing and being. A great mind told me that once. I just wish he found it easier to listen to his own advice. xxx

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