so… this time next week

We’ll be checking Mum into hospital. I think I’ve been trying not to think about it too much. Between the miscarriage I had in July, and stressing about Mum’s upcoming brain surgery, including all the possible scenarios that go along with it…. I’m a bit of a basketcase and this has been a really crap year.

On the work front there are times I hear myself saying I have the best of both worlds, a steady government part time job, and the freedom to do some freelance. But really, it’s a juggling act, with clients expecting things overnight when I already have a full plate, and some taking their sweet time to pay me when I’ve got literally 53 cents in the bank.

It’s not the best of both worlds, but perhaps the crappiest parts of both worlds. And in the meantime Bjorn is getting harassed by centrelink and the worst job agency I’ve ever come across, bringing his panic attacks into full swing, and there’s not a damn thing I can do for him.

Meanwhile the will has been done. She’s only been talking about it for five years, and now I’m also mum’s power of attorney, in case she suffers a massive stroke in the surgery or whatever, I have the power to carry on her affairs and pay her bills etc.  I’ve had to ask her some tough questions, like whether she’d like to donate organs… but you know, I have no idea what she’d want to wear… what kind of coffin she’d prefer…. and what song(s) she’d like played at her funeral… if it comes to that.

How do you ask someone that?

Now I have travel plans to make that don’t really fit well with us when you have a dog and two cats…. so keeping them safe and fed and happy become part of the juggling act too, as well as preparing for New Years Eve, and keeping that ball in the air too.

Something’s going to drop sooner or later. Fuck Christmas. Bjorn’s family (the extended, not the core), want us to confirm plans, but my god people. I can’t see past about the middle of next week at this stage.

I just need to get through this next part, and just hope to hell for the best.

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